Boy, do I have new song for you. I played it for my spinning students at Revolve while forcing them to do an ungodly interval. They hated it. Then asked to do it again.

The song is Valhalla by K-OS. It’s best for cycling, running, and lawn mowing. (Yesterday when I mowed the loan, I put on my headphones and rocked out to this. I was so hype that I cut a really neat design in the grass. Then an ant bit me.)  If you’ve never heard of K-OS, you can thank me with a gift card to Whole Foods.

Warning: This video was recorded on someone’s phone so things are muffled, but trust me, the song is dope. The full length, awesome version is available on itunes. Let me know what you think. xoxo Angel

It was day 6 of Veg Week and I was feeling like a pimp. I was eating my weight in vegetables and smacking hoes who weren’t. Not only that, I had taken the challenge to another level. I was forcing myself to not only eat as healthy as possible but to also resist things that tasted like meat, i.e. fake chicken nuggets, veggie sausage, etc. (I decided that avoiding meat-like products would be a harder challenge. I didn’t want this to feel easy.) I hadn’t eaten meat or any product pretending to be meat. I was unstoppable. I was Kick Buttowski.

When Day 7 came around, it felt like a normal day. I didn’t realize freedom was near. I didn’t plan how I would celebrate my success. I didn’t think about meat at all. Day 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12 came and went – without the consumption of meat! It wasn’t intentional. It just was. On day 13, I went out with a friend and ordered chicken skewers. They tasted good but I didn’t have that “it’s been so long since I’ve seent you, let’s go home and make magic” feeling. Speaking of chicken, do you remember that grilled chicken from the eve of the challenge? It was still in the fridge.

Yes, that’s what happens when you open a package of chicken, put in the fridge, and don’t seal it. It molds. I had kept it because part of me wanted to know I could quit the challenge at any time. Fortunately, I didn’t. I had made it 12 days as vegetarian. Geese, chickens, and hogs were knocking down my door offering me cheese and booze. They wanted to thank me for sparing their lives and the lives of their children. Speaking of cheese, you need to see proof of my unraveling.

Mid-way through the challenge, I had consumed an entire block of cheese in one sitting. Aside from that one weak moment, I had made it. I had knocked the Veg Week Challenge out of the park. It was hard. And it was easy. My eyes are wide open.

Lessons Learned:
1. Being a good vegetarian is hard. You have to eat healthy without eating crap.
2. Being a bad vegetarian is easy. You can eat all the pizza, cheese, potatoes, chips, and candy bars that you want.
3. Everyone should do something that forces them to step outside of the box.
4. Stepping outside of the box is, and always will be, SEXY.

I was halfway through Veg Week and decided it was time for a change. My morning meals were monotonous and that was no way to live. I needed variety. I needed titillation. I needed a vegetable fritatta with a side of plantains. And it was amazing.

I savored every bite and shimmied until my plate was clean. The rest of the day was a breeze. Later that evening, I met a friend out for dinner. We ordered a pizza and went halfsies. Hers had meat, mine didn’t. When the pie arrived, I did a thorough inspection ensuring none of her meat violated the restraining order. All clear, I dove in for another successful night on the town.

Lessons Learned:
1. Every day should begin with plantains.
2. Vapianos does not make good pizza.
3. Good friends are better than bad pizza.

Day 4 of Veg Week started like any other day. I made a whey protein shake and pondered whether all dogs go to heaven. I decided the latter were true and left the house with a smile.  Things were off to a good start. I even packed my lunch.

Mid-day, I enjoyed steamed vegetables nestled in garlic. I was proud of myself, cocky even. And whenever I feel cocky, I know I’m about to get checked.

That evening, I met friends for dinner. We hugged and told each other how cute our hair, dress, (insert random thing girls do hoping other girls will express interest, delight, and/or wonder) looked.  I peeled the menu from the bar and exclaimed, “Oh no!” The ladies inquired and I explained the challenge. They looked at the menu and froze. Six of the eight items on the menu had animals involved. They suggested we go downstairs for full service. At our new table, I scanned the menu and realized that it wasn’t a menu, it was the devil – in the form of a menu. Tuna tartare, Chicken Skewers, Beef Sliders, oh my. I had come face-to-face with the real challenge: Avoid eating meat when your friends are eating it. Checkmate. Fortunately, I have good taste in friends. They scrubbed the menu identifying all of the healthy vegetarian options. I ordered the chickpea ravioli. It was delicious, proof that stepping outside of the box is never a bad idea. I survived.  And I didn’t even have to use my aka. I have to say it was a good day.

Lessons learned:
1. If you are changing your eating habits, surround yourself with supportive people.
2. Friends who aren’t supportive are not your friends. They are weeds.
3. Weed out the weeds.

I’ve been getting it in to this powerful instrumental. When you hear this song, it’s impossible to dilly-dally. If you have any soul, any goals, any reason to push for something better, “Requiem for a Dream” must be added to your workout playlist. This song also works when cramming for a deadline. There are no words to distract your thoughts just angry violins making you type real fast. Enjoy.

I don’t love cheese. I don’t crave it. I don’t think about it. If it went away, I wouldn’t miss it. The only time I eat cheese is when I’m with friends and we order pizza or quesadillas. Otherwise, cheese isn’t in my routine. I’ve got no beef with cheese (ha!). It’s just that my body craves the sweeter things in life. Boy, did that change.

Day 3 of Veg Week was off to a terrible start. My alarm didn’t go off. Instead of my usual fruit/protein/flax seed/love smoothie, I had my “this-ain’t-no-time-to-be-fancy-grab-some-protein-and-run” smoothie. (Lack of time can kill a dream.) My plan B smoothie consisted of two scoops of whey protein powder mixed with water. I put the ingredients in a bottle, shook, and guzzled. This was going to be a long day.

By lunch time, I was starving. I inhaled another plan B smoothie and an orange. By 4pm, I felt lonely and afraid. Armed with no plan and little hope, I ran to Starbucks for a large coffee. I sipped it slow imagining it was a glass of wine and I was in Paris being cajoled by a dark French guy. I lived in that dream for an hour then headed to the gym for my workout. Full of caffeine and lust, I set a record on my overhead squats and chin ups. That was the first and last bright spot in my day.

At 8pm, I got home and ate a huge bowl of mixed vegetables. I was full but not satisfied. I wanted meat, lots of it. I wanted a burger wrapped in bacon smothered with chicken swimming in fish. But more than that, I wanted to survive VegWeek. So I did the unthinkable. I drove to Whole Foods and bought a block of cheese. I got home and tore into that cheese like an addict. I didn’t know what I was doing or why I was doing it but it felt amazing. An hour later I was in bed with side pains and gas. I’m lactose intolerant.

Day 3 was a success (read: I didn’t eat meat). But it wasn’t pretty.

Lessons Learned:
1. People who pack their lunches the night before are smarter than people who don’t.
2. If you become a crazed maniac at night, it’s because you didn’t eat enough during the day.
3. Crazed maniacs do bad things.
4. Lactose intolerance is not a game.

It’s Day 2 of Veg Week. Yesterday, I barely survived so I went grocery shopping to suppress potential cravings. Armed with juicy oranges, greek yogurt, and packs and packs of chewing gum, I got through most of the day like a champ. (There was one moment of weakness. It had nothing to do with meat and everything to do with willpower, or lack thereof. It’s on the video.)

Play the video to see what I purchased for Vegetarian Week and why. I will also tell you about a delicious frozen veggie product that is calorically-friendly. And then you’ll see me unravel.